Every year at work I auction off a poem a week to one person in our charity auction. Here are some sample poems that I've written for past winners.
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Beneath the hat and squinting eyes
a welcome smile so wide that hides
the ill intent that lives inside.
The Orwellian spud bends his will
to watch all over Maugerville
learn its secrets and fear install.
But knowing that, what can you do?
There's no escape, you can't break loose.
The Big Potato's watching you.
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Trap door out in space,
Please don't spaghettify me.
I'm just passing by.
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Do you remember
Seeing strangers's whole faces?
A lot of them smiled.
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My companions and I were sought
To guard and secure the king's vault
To keep it safe from intruders
To find and fix all of its faults
But at the close of that mission
A darkness swept over the land
Our world was in need of heroes
The king turned again to our band
The necromancer had returned
His undead army marching forth
We set out on a secret quest
Away up in the frozen north
For in the Giants' land twas told
There was an artifact of power
A weakness of that evil mage
Hid away in a curs'd tower
We told the giants of past quests
I entertained them with some song
They toasted us and drained their horns
And promised not to lead us wrong
Their chief produced a map for us
That would lead us to the tower
Then feasted us and bid us rest
For late had grown the weary hour
We hiked for days through forest thick
Until the tower was before us
We took some hours to circle wide
And find an entrance with no fuss
A cart by night we could approach
Hay-filled under a low window
My cousin Gaben went in first
To scout about on his tip-toes
Finding no foes he lowered a rope
So the rest of us could join him
Dappy went next, then brave Oshborn,
I followed with our Dwarven friend
Gaben listening at the door
Heard neither voices nor footsteps
The door he opened just a crack
No one he saw so he slipped out
Into a hall full of cobwebs
He looked to the right and leftward
He turned to give us the all-clear
We watched, mouths agape in horror
From above a spider appeared
Gaben ducked and dodged the stinger
Right before it could pierce his back
Dappy was quick to recover
He drew his blades for an attack
He slashed into the great spider
Oshborn dished out an eldritch blast
With Dwarven prayer and my arrow
We took care of that spider fast
We cut the webs and left the hall
Moved carefully around a trap
Found skeletal guards at the stairs
But felled them in an easy scrap
And up the stairs more guards and foes
Every battle more momentous
At the top of the tower we found
The necromancer's apprentice
His victim tied to a table
His dark rite not yet completed
We fought with blade and magic 'til
The vile servant was defeated
We searched the room until we found
The dark wizard's phylactery
We made haste back to the kingdom
And found the capital besieged
Dwarf and warlock worked magic 'gainst
Talisman that contained his soul
His undead army wavered when
It shattered and he lost control
And in his weakened state I found
I knew just how to play my part
I put an arrow to my bow
And fired it through his ancient heart
And as he fell a cheer went out
That turned to joyous upheaval
And that my friends is how we saved
Our kingdom from that great evil
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Weird little sites prompting hours in a Wonderful click trance through Web rings and random links no like buttons or share widgets to help find the good stuff back then just the dial up modem handshake screech then chance and word of mouth and late nights in front of crt monitors
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I found myself facing some problems
So I wrote some code just to solve ‘em.
Well I ran that code,
To see how it goed,
And now I have two more new problems.
The old dev said to me with a smirk,
Look I don't mean to sound like a jerk.
I don't give a shit,
What code you commit,
As long as you break none of my work.
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Cello, viola, flute and bell
Play me a tune and it play it well
Ah, yes, I failed to specify
you all play the same song. Next try!
In 3/4 time, the key is A
Flute, andante cantibile
Bell provide the punctuation
Strings you're for melodization
All together, follow my wand
A one an a - already wrong
One last try, or into the fire
Follow my lead, I'll play this lyre
Yes, yes, you're getting it now bell
And cello! Viola as well!
You should come in now flute. Join us!
All together for the chorus!
No! Terrible cacaphony!
Maybe it's time to accept that
I don't have the music in me
Nor the magic under my hat.
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